1. Wash and dry the Okra with a paper towel. Make a slit through the center so that the inside part of it can get cooked. 

2. In a pan, take 1 1/2 Tbsp of oil and shallow fry the Okra. Discard the oil. This step helps to get rid of the gooey substance from the Okra.

3. Making the freshly ground spice powder takes a little extra time but is definitely worth the process. In a pan, dry roast the following ingredients; 1 Tbsp peanuts, 1 Tbsp yellow lentils, 1 Tbsp coriander seeds, red chilies (3 or 4), 1 tsp cinnamon and cloves, 2 tsp black pepper, 1 Tbsp cumin, 1 Tbsp urad dhal, and 1 Tbsp sesame seeds. Dry roast everything on a low flame, and Make sure not to burn the spices.

4. Transfer all the spices to a plate/bowl so that it cools down completely. Once it cools down, blend all the spices to a fine powder with the blender or a spice grinder.

5. In a 3-quart pan, take 2 Tbsp oil, add 1 tsp mustard seeds, some curry leaves, 2 cups finely diced onions, and saute for about three minutes or until the onions are translucent. Add 1 tsp of salt and continue to saute. Salt helps with the cooking of the onion. 

6. Add 2 cups of tomato puree. Blend the tomatoes raw or can be blended after blanching the tomatoes. Let the tomato puree cook for some time until the oil separates from the pan. 

7. Add the freshly made spice powder, 1/2 tsp of turmeric powder, and mix everything well. Make sure that the powder does not stick to the bottom of the pan. 

8. Add 1 cup of water, 1 1/2 cups of coconut milk, and 1 Tbsp of tamarind paste (substitute with lime or lemon juice). Mix everything well and cook for about 10 minutes on a low to medium flame.

9. Continue to stir in between the cooking process to not burn at the bottom. 

10. It is now ready to be served with rice or roti.